Re-branding

Life has happened to me in a hard way. It was big. Good things happened too. In a big, good way. 

So here I am. 

I've been used to having an internet presence. I have friends all over the country.... and world for that matter, who I know through social media. I've missed you!

I knit. I've had labels with my name that I stitched onto a project as a finishing touch. Ya'll I spent a lot of years cultivating an identity associated with a name I no longer use. 

In my social, internet, crafting world I felt stagnant. 

I had started the process of rebranding or re-iodentifying if you will, but got stuck on some technicalities and could. not. move. forward. I had such a sense of who I was, but it was from an internal perspective. Have you ever spent so much time with yourself that you couldn't see you as a whole from the outside? I've kind of gotten to that point. 

So I was getting a bikini wax, (I love starting with that, it's an amusingly great hook) and Ruthie was talking about working with a graphic designer to do some business rebranding. I'd been thinking about pursuing this path and this just kind of fell in my lap. She started talking about Devinne of Monday Morning Media and how she has a passion for working with women and their businesses. Ruthie talked about how she loved collaborating with Devinne because Devinne is the kind of person who "gets you" and wants things to be "just right." 

I called Devinne of Monday Morning Media that night. We met the next morning. She's a fantastic like minded person and creator. Additionally, it was such a relief to hand over all these things about me, my process, what I create, and why I create. I knew I could hand it over to her and that she would take all of that to find a way to represent me! I left with such a sense of relief! And that night? That night I picked up my knitting. 

She took time to process and create. It was so hard to be patient but good things take time.

Devinne put together three inspiration boards as a starting point. 

I loved parts of all of them, but the one with the black lupine design really spoke to me the most. There were small teaks to be made, and then it was just right! The logo, the font, the icons. I felt like they represented me so well!

The only thing I still felt a little funny on were the colors. Which I very much identified as a me thing. How do I describe my colors? How do I define my colors? I love all the colors, which ones are ME? How could I convey that or communicate it to someone else? I spent that Friday night on PInterest. I scoured the boards for an image or color palate that spoke to me. I grabbed pictures from the interwebs and created my own photo inspiration board. I liked it. I didn't LOVE it. I wast at peace with it. Nowhere could I find a picture with ALL of my colors in it. 

The next morning (Saturday) I woke up inspired. I would take my own pictures. Thankfully, the light was on my side! I took photos of my favorite colored things. Quilt, knitting, glass, Fiestaware. I played with them, made some colors show more than others. I was back in m element! It had been SO. LONG. Since I'd felt inspired to just take pictures of things that made me happy so I could share them! (I paced myself sharing them on Instagram BTW. You're welcome for not bombarding you.) I was in my creative element playing with color, texture, and light. I was amazed at what a self seeking journey it was and how the process activated and inspired feelings and emotion. I was still trying to push the fuchsia but man, I did not have it hardly anywhere. 

I think that's when it hit me...why am I trying to push something I don't have in my life? How is that representative of me? 
So I compiled all the photos without the fuchsia and wow, was I at peace. That was it!

Sunday began the journey of finding the precise colors and shades. I put the inspiration board through several photo color palate finders. They all came back with different ideas. I pulled the pieces that spoke to me. I think I tried four variations of my green, three variations of blue and what felt like five purples. Then. I had it.

I took the digital file over to the print shop across the street to have them print it on 11x17 card-stock so I could tape it on my wall and just LOOK at it. It's so centering.

I ordered my knitting labels and my contact card (so I don't have to write my name and number on whatever receipt I have in my purse when I'm trying to give another knitter my numbah.) Both parts of my process that had been in my life before. I felt like the processes have been restored under the ownership of my name, my identity. Yes, these are material things. Yes, I know there's more to life than that, and that's probably a big reason I've waited so long to pick this process back up. But since I got my labels I've finished four WIPs (work in progress). That's huge! Celebrate with me! 

Lastly, I must ask. Are you a person who processes in images and color? How do you describe this to the people in your life who see numbers, names and words? How do you invite them to your table when you're trying to work through something hard, even if they don't speak "the language?" And more importantly, how do you as an image/color person meet them at their table when they're experiencing something hard?

Why Third Things

There was not a shortage of books in my house growing up. I was blessed to have grown up being read to on the regular. Some books were read more than others. One of such books was “Miss Rumphius” story and pictures by Barbara Cooney. I’m sure we had it for the lovely story as well as the beautiful artwork. Many people simply call it “The Lupine Lady.” I was once in a bookstore and overheard two women asking for “The Lupine Lady.” Being the over involved person I am, I intervened for the confused sales person and  helped the women locate the book. I’ve recorded a video of myself reading the book and you can view it here.

In the story Alice tells her Uncle that “I too will travel the world, and I too will grow old and live by the sea.” Her uncle says “that is all very well little Alice, but there is a third thing you must do....you must do something to  make the world more beautiful.” No spoilers here but read to the end people. It gets even better. 

When I social media (yep, it’s a verb now), it’s my hope that I’m sharing all of “My Third Things.” As my friend Sara pointed out, I have many things that make the (my) world beautiful. I try to embrace things that make my world more beautiful whether that is teaching, cooking, knitting, sewing...maybe even thinking. 

When I told my dad my idea, I was driving home from somewhere. He started reciting the book to me. My heart swelled so big. 

This book holds memories and hopes. 

I’m not a plant expert by any means but everywhere I have lived I have found a familiar lupine plant friend in one variety or another. The discovery has typically been accompanied by a gleeful cry of “luuuuupines!” They can be noted by their cone shaped flower and their leaf pattern. 

One day, several years ago, I was walking, telling my sister all about the beautiful lupines in bloom and remembering the story. That afternoon, or maybe the next I heard my doorbell ring. There on my porch was a lovely little bouquet of lupines, accompanied by the most adorable giggles coming from around the corner. Melt my heart. 

Or the surprise lupines for my birthday from Raechel, even though both of us have memorable speeches burned into our brains about leaving flowers on the plant for longer enjoyment.

Lastly, my name Jessie Harper, is not necessarily unique or original. (Though I love my naming story. I’ll tell it to you sometime.) There are many Jessie Harper usernames taken up across the inter webs. I recently noticed that my name has three E’s. And that a capital E backwards is a three. So, once again the theme of thirds and threes shows up in my online persona which you may sometimes see as J3SSI3HARP3R. Three threes for three E’s and my third things, as Jessie Harper. 

Wrap all that up in a nice bow. It makes me happy. 

Wide Legged Pants

These pants require a story. Every time I wear them and someone notices them, I want to tell the story. (For the record the cart is the feature of the photo because it had JUST been delivered to my classroom to store science notebooks and I was SO excited I asked my kids to help me record the moment.

When I was in second grade, I had a teacher, Mrs. Reed, who wore the flowiest wide leg pants. They were swishy and lovely and I knew, that when I got “grown up” I would wear wide leg swishy pants. 

Now yall, I am a rule follower (as long as I know why I’m following the rule) and I know that my short stature-ness just does not get quite so visually flattered by the wide leg flowy pant look. But. A couple...okay a few...okay now that I count many years ago I finally made myself these wide leg pants. And sometimes. It’s hard for me to put together my “look.” 

People seem to either love the wide leg pants or really strongly dislike them. My sister, bless her heart, is in the dislike category. She’s not the only one, and I’m grateful I have people who I know will tell me their thoughts without hurt feelings intended. 

But dear ones. This week I had a student ask me when I was going to wear my pretty pants with the big bow again. Wow did my heart swell. Middle school students can be hard but wowsers when they notice or care about things it is such. A big. Deal. 

So I wore them again today, and got way more compliments than on standard workaday pants.  And I always get so proud when I can show people how my giant phone fits in the giant pockets. And the student was visibly cheered when she noted that I wore them and I said “just for her”. All because she said something.

Someone wise (Carrie) once told me that there’s a difference between style and fashion. Fashion consists of the latest trends but style is all our own. What we like, what fits, what makes us happy. We curate our style to be as unique as us. When I wear my wide legged pants, or wear the same dress in different colors for four days, and Danskos with hand knit socks I am not only identifying myself as me, but I am also identifying myself as a kindred spirit to others. So now rather than feeling pressure at finding the most acceptable outfit, I will try to focus on choosing how I shall identify myself as kindred today. 

Lastly, let this be a lesson for all of us. When you appreciate someone’s scarf, tell them! When you notice their hair is a beautiful shade of grey coiled into delicate curls, tell them! When someone has a radiant smile let them know that it brightened your day. Who doesn’t feel brighter and bigger after receiving a compliment. Has anyone ever received a compliment and thought “Ugh, I wish they hadn’t said that.” I have never. Think how joy can spread exponentially with a daily increase of compliments. 

Sticker Paralysis

One of many things I've enjoyed about Instagram is how through it, I've been introduced to many artists I enjoy greatly! Case in point: Meet The Paintbox Letters. It was SO. HARD. to pick just one. I wanted to put all her work everywhere. SO. I ordered stickers. All the stickers. 
But then. I got sticker paralysis. Where would I put them to get maximum enjoyment? What if I put them in the wrong place? What if they get destroooooooyed? They lived on my fridge for quite some time. During that time I had many sticker discussions with the individuals who frequent my place of work. I began to notice that certain kids ALWAYS brought their water bottles and I often enjoyed noticing their stickers. Finally I realized if they had one of the stickers on their waterbottles I could enjoy the stickers exponentially. On my water bottle. On their water bottles. All the water bottles!See below.





These are mine. The 30 oz bottle is going to feature Harry Potter stickers. You should see the stuff she's been adding to her Etsy shop. My twenty something oz water bottle shall feature bomb.com women and the at-at. Because I like them.

I thought I might make the 12 oz bottle super hero themed because I have a wolverine sticker. And I really like her aqua man sticker. But in my brain wolverine doesn't really fit the superhero mold truly. So then I thought I'll just call the theme "abs." If you didn't laugh at that you're missing something from your life. Text me. I'll explain it to you.

Snow Day Productivity

 ...and took major steps toward making my old sewing room feel like a sleeping room for humans. A sparest of spare rooms for you kindred spirits. 

On Wednesday, January 23rd we were gifted with a snow day. Something about snow days allow for a productivity that doesn’t exist on normal “off” days. For one, I was so amped up from waking up and looking out my window a million times to see if it “snowed enough” and then checking Facebook to see if they’d called it yet, I was rearin’ to go around 5:30. For two, it was a day designated for work anyway so filling it with house work isn't disheartening and actually feels like a bonus. So. I finally, on twenty third day of January, took down my Christmas tree...

This closet used to be my sewing desk space. And then full of stuff. This is BIG progress people.

Why I March

I participated in the women’s march on Saturday, January 19. . Before I shared pictures, I wanted to think again, and share some of the reasons #WhyIMarch 

Because all people matter, and they need to know and feel included. 

Because the church that raised me is engaging intentionally in conversation around women in leadership, when it had never occurred to me I might not “be allowed to lead” because of my gender. 

Because we are all leaders in our every day actions and I want to be intentional about the message I send out. 

Because it’s important that I model what peacefully coming to the conversation looks like. 

Because I have capabilities that allow me to come to the conversation and others do not, it’s my duty. 

Because the longer I live here the more I learn just how many people believe that women’s bodies are not their own to decision make for. 

Because Planned Parenthood was once MY backup plan. Because individuals with varied abilities should be praised for their gifts not mocked for their differences. 

Because I am helping to raise our future every day I go to work in a school. These kids need to know they matter, know others matter, and know they can make a difference. They are our leaders for tomorrow. 

Layers, Balance, and Vulnerability

Y’all. I have had some great days. Some huge triumphs. I graduated. I’m finishing a difficult teaching year strong. I have good things planned for the summer.
There’s a chance I might be filling my summer so that I don’t have to think about the hard things.
Because they’re hard. And sometimes it feels easier to be so busy you can’t think about it.

Then someone who knows you helps peel back the layers, and kindly sheds light on the parts you’d rather not see. A friend who is glad that you’re happy and busy, but also wants you to take care of you so that you can work on healing rather than ignoring the gaping wound you’ve covered for convenience.

It’s important to find that balance. I haven’t. I’m grateful for the people with me on the journey.

I still don’t know what to do with that place of hurt and feelings. I’d like to put it somewhere or tell it what to do or be.

It still feels somewhat temporary. Like we’re doing the long distance schtick again, or he’s gone for work.

I see movie clips where the couple  is loving and taking care of each other. That was us. I thought it was. When did it become not? Was it just me?

Relationships are a catch 22. You have to be all in to get the most out of it. You have to be more vulnerable to your person than to anybody be you’ve ever opened up to before. While you might be capable of being on your own and independent, you learn to rely on your person. Let them do what they’re great at and support them whee they rely on you. From that grows a beautiful dependence. A relationship.

Woah is it gut wrenching when that gets pulled out from under you.when the partnership, thencomittment isn’t what you thought.

I wonder, what could/should I have done differently? What did I do wrong? I know I pursued and invited all possible options. I don’t un wish any of my time. Yet, if I can’t find a “what I’ll do differently next time” then it forces me to reconcile with the idea that a “next time” or a new person can’t be guaranteed either.

I’m now familiar with everything in risking by pursuing another life partnership.

I’m also all together more familiar with what I’m giving up if I don’t pursue another partnership.

I don’t know what to do with that.

Successes and Gratitude
Homemade pizza lesson for #roomatekyle (which meant eating homemade pizza.)
A yard full of plants ready to turn into lovely.
Living in a town with a lovely Saturday farmers market, and nearby walking and hiking trails.
The approaching end of school year.